As India steps up it efforts for lobbying for a permanent seat on the United Nations Security Council, I request the Government to take a step back and reexamine the issue from all angles.

After all, it is not a decision to be made lightly.

The crux of the matter is that the seat is permanent. Once a decision about this seat is made, there is no going back. The decision we take today will have implications on hundreds of generations of future Indians who will occupy this seat and present their arguments before the nations of the world. We must take every possible measure to ensure that these generations are not inconvenienced in any way, just because we were too eager, too careless and too much in a hurry to occupy center stage.

There is so much to consider.

For example, will the permanent seat be facing a window? It is extremely important that we do not allow ourselves to be talked into occupying a seat located in a cubicle or a windowless office, where our diplomats would have to log on to weather.com to see if it was raining outside before stepping out for lunch.

Even if the seat were to be located by a window, we have to be careful before accepting any offer. After all, would it behoove our country to have a view overlooking a suburb like Brooklyn , while a diplomat from Pakistan (whose seat is not permanent) could wheel his or her chair casually to a window with a view of the posh First Avenue ?

However, if a window seat becomes a major bone of contention, we should be willing to compromise. We can focus our efforts on ensuring that our seat is facing in the best possible direction. With the right degree of common sense, this should not be such a difficult decision to make. After all, do we want our diplomats to stare at a surly ambassador from Western Sahara , or into the blue eyes of the curvy feminist from Sweden ?

There is also the matter of design and aesthetics. The seat we choose must stand the test of time. We will have to cancel our IKEA membership, as it would not do for our diplomats to occupy seats that were once white, and now turning colors representative of the many shades of yellow. In fact, I suggest we give this whole modernity movement a miss.

For one, most modern chairs are not comfortable, and are bad for the posture. Besides, there is the matter of postmodernism or worse, even neo modernism becoming more modern than modernism itself.

Imagine how silly would our diplomats appear with a modern chair (especially when contrasted with the chair with neo modern wheels occupied by the Pakistani diplomat?) I recommend going for a chair that is comfortable with plush leather, but crafted with curving arm rests reminiscent of the kings of old. Then, we could always say that this chair is representative of India 's ancient culture, and nobody could dare make fun of us in this politically correct age. We should also display a label saying "Made in Rajasthan" prominently for good measure.

There are many other factors that require our consideration. The seat would have to be ergonomically safe (see the section on posture for more). It would also have to be the right color. Should we opt for blue, a color that suggests pacifism, or red, a color that is not only more aggressive, but also better matches the walls at the United Nations?

As you can see, there are decisions to be made at every step along the way. A move from impermanence to permanence is the sign of maturity and a coming of age for our country. I wish our leaders all the courage, fortitude and presence of mind as they make this important decision.

 

 

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